Saturday 12 April 2014

Wondering why, and remembering a friend

Sometimes I felt like the odd one out. 
I don't like praises. 
I don't like big parties. 
I don't think there are many wonderful things about myself. 
I watch both anime and English shows. 
I immerse myself so deeply in novels that I get really pissed when I am disturbed.
I like solitude, but not loneliness.
I love the fictional world of books, manga and anime.
I love Japanese music.
I like to make friends with people from other races.
Recently, I like baking. I felt happy when people say my cakes are good. It gives me more satisfaction than getting good exam results. I have already passed that stage. I used to be incredibly competitive, not anymore.

Sometimes I feel like the odd one out.
I have always felt a bit lonely because i can't find people like me. 
I don't have friends to really get excited about all the things I love. 
I don't really follow mainstream entertainment like K-Pop.
I go to many online forums instead because I can't find anyone who had the same interests as me.
Most of my friends only have a few common interests with me.












If you know all of these really well, you are probably my soul mate!


However, the recent passing of my friend changed my opinion.
Being different may be stressful.
Many things will pressure you so much you feel so lonely.
You get stressed because you are different.
You get stressed because you can't cope with something.

I used to wonder why people can't understand me.
Then, my friends told me my thinking is distorted.
I never realised it.
But my thinking is never distorted.
It's just a different way of thinking.
Ah well, people won't understand anyway.
I am grateful I still have many good friends.
But I understood their concerns, they are really kind people ^^

Speaking of friends, Ker Sern's passing really dealt me a blow.
He's gone, just like that.
The news made me feel distraught for 2 days.
I can't do anything without thinking of him.
Facebook became so painful to look at.
We are classmates for 3 years.
He was such a funny and brave guy, he had put a lot of smiles on my face.
Now he's gone.
It really pains me to use past tenses on him.
Sin Wei is right.
In this world, people matter the most only after they are gone.
We only realise our loss when they are gone.
He's a wonderful person who chased his dreams.
I wish I have his courage.

I will remember him. The world has lost a beautiful soul through tragic circumstances.
I apologise for using his photo without permission, but this photo is really beautiful in many ways.

I'll remember him.
We are not close, but I'll still remember him for a really long time.
His passing will only serve as a reminder to all of us not only to fight to live on despite the hardships, but to live on with dignity and happiness and contentment.

Amitabha.
Rest in peace.
You will always be remembered by the ones who care about and love you, and the ones who had been lucky enough to be showered by your positive energy and humour.
You made your mark in this world, and may you be always happy in the other world you now live.

This song is dedicated to him. It felt suitable somehow.
五月天 - 温柔。



































3 comments:

  1. stay strong and good luck! :')

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  2. You're not alone in thinking you're different, or the odd one out. I guess at some stage we all have that phase, I guess; I certainly did. You will find someone who can share you interests, just like I did. :) And if you can't, well, you don't lose anything pun. T.Swift did say : if you're lucky enough to be different, don't change. (or something like that) . ^_^
    p.s. Your cakes are really heavenly though. Dang.
    p.p.s. I don't really get KPop either. I just like the dramas' OSTs.

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  3. congratulation on passing the "confused stage" of a teenager rfrf

    ReplyDelete