Ah Well....

Why do we always find something to make ourselves sad?
Maybe we care too much about things we can't change.

Just appreciate the happy things we have, and stay away from things that make us sad and angry. Seriously, just stay away from those things.

Sometimes being ignorant is better. That's why simple people are generally happier than people who think too much.
There's nothing you can do about things you can't change. Try making the people around you happy. People are just sometimes too selfish.

If everyone just TRY to make people around them happy, the world would be a much happier place. 
I am just disappointed that many people won't do this. 
They prefer making people around them and they themselves unhappy. If I am not happy then you must not be happy as well.
Well, just try ok? There is already too much sadness in this world. We need more happiness :) 

A clear blue sky would make me happy now. The stupid haze has deprived me of the view of one of my favourite things in this world - clouds :)

On another matter, haha....

I just received my trial exam results yesterday. All A's. Ah well, this means I have gotten all A's for every end-of-semester papers during my 2 years of college. Yeah, including the not-so-useful subject of Ethics Education as well LOL. 

Not boasting here, just to show that hard work really pays off. I just wish that when my REAL A level examination results come out, I can get 3 As as well, or better yet, 3 A*s haha. I wish all my friends can get 3 A*s as well. Some of them really deserve the 3 shining stars haha XD.

I am not intelligent or something. I don't have high IQ. I usually sucked in IQ tests. Some people say I looked as if I don't need to study hard to score good marks. Well, they don't know me. And as usual people don't believe me when I try to explain things. Ah well...

Well, I admit I played a lot. I am happy-go-lucky and usually not serious lol. But I usually try my best for my exams. Well not always, but usually. If I am really serious I can study like hell and ace all my tests and exams with relative ease. The problem is getting myself to become serious. 

Ever since gaining some taste of working in real life, I have become lazy haha XD. Really. I used to be a half-nerd who study all day. But this all changed after SPM. After I enter college I can just manage to get through my exams by paying attention in class and doing some exercises and tutorials given by lecturers. This continued until I got a C for Biology during semester 2. Well, that really hit me hard. I have not got a C for a long time. The last time was in Form 4. A nasty C for Additional Maths lol.

And that is why I got a C.

After that I got serious. I admit I used some shortcuts and tricks for tests and exams. Not cheating of course. Well, we all know that exams do not only test us on what we know, but how we apply what we know as well. In short, the TECHNIQUE of answering questions in exams is important as well. If I don't know how to write down what I know, the exams are pretty much screwed even though I have read the textbooks 100 times.

I personally feel that answering exam questions is like telling a white lie. Not telling exactly what I know, but more to modifying what I know and telling it to you. It is not exactly true, but add a bit here and take away a bit there, and you have a new concoct, different in appearance but still the same in essence. That's how I answer exam questions, and usually they work. Usually.

Passing exams with flying colours requires 99% hard work and 1% talent. It's true. In my college, almost everyone is a scholarship student, meaning there are a lot of people who are smarter and more hardworking. Some of them are really competitive aka like to compare marks, which kinda annoys me lol. Well, I don't really like this atmosphere. But hey, I am here and I am using taxpayers' money, so I might as well study hard. My parents pay taxes too =.=

Ok, so starting from semester 3 I studied harder. The last 3 months were one of the most hardworking moments of my life. I spent like at least 3 hours a day studying. It's actually a lot. AT LEAST 3 hours mind you XD. I haven't studied so hard for so long. During semester 1 I can ignore studying for 1 whole week and still managed to catch up. Well, I had to study hard for the A level exams. These are the real deal man, not some half-baked college tests, which are in essence past year questions lol. 

And I promised some people I would work hard. My parents. And some really important friends ^^

This actually happened during one of my papers. Almost got muscle cramps at that particular area. Darn. Should've drunk less water before the paper.

So it's all over. I feel confident during the 17 papers though. I made mistakes, but still within the range to get an A, or even A*, if everything went well. I hope fate doesn't troll me in a cruel way that the examiners marked my papers wrongly or something. That would be too much for me. And I really need to thank all my friends that have studied with me, went out and played with me, or even just being at my side during the 7 weeks. You are all truly great people. I owe you all a lot. You know who you are haha, and you have my sincere gratitude :)

For those of us who took Physics for A level, you all know what I mean =.=

And yeah, I went to Sunway Pyramid, volunteering work, the Pasar Malam at Taman 
Connought, Subang Jaya etc etc during the exam period. Hey, you can't expect me to study continuously EVERY DAY for 7 WEEKS. I am human. I am just a lazy and playful human who is serious about studying.

There's really no secrets for getting good exam results. Er, I may need to rephrase this. Well, there's really no secrets for getting good exam results for most of us. Ok that's better. Unless you are a genius (most of us aren't, and I am certainly not one, please stop calling me that =.=), you need to work hard. It's the only way to get anything at all. Good results, good jobs, good girlfriends. Work hard for it. It's the only way. Don't ask me what do I mean by working hard. You know it yourself. Ok, maybe except how to work hard to get a girlfriend. I don't know that myself lol.

Then its over in a flash. The 7 weeks actually passed quickly. I was surprised as well. And now I am at home, lazing around. I miss my college friends though. They are among the funniest and greatest people I have ever met. I know I would never see some of them again. At least I still remain in contact with those I treasure the most :)

That's all for now. Now it'll be just fooling around for 2 months until results day. I hope that I can fly to Ireland in September. I hope that my friends all pass their passing marks and enter their respective colleges too. This world needs more happiness. And I hope in 2 months time, there will be more happiness in the form of our excellent results. 

And hopefully no lame jokes on Results Day either =.='''
I don't want anyone to get a C anyway haha XD

I am not thinking about all these now. Now I am just thinking about how beautiful my friends are, and whether the durian puff stall will be open tomorrow (er, today, I mean. Haha XD).

Good night, and peace out. May there be more happiness in this world.

这世界已经有太多太多的悲伤……

最近发生了很多事，也听到了很多事。
我只想说，你如果很喜欢很喜欢一个朋友，那个朋友也很喜欢很喜欢你，但是有一天，有人比你更需要那个朋友，而你的朋友想要去帮助那个人，那请你让你的朋友去帮助那个人吧。

朋友不是你的，不要霸占他。
朋友和那个人变得很熟了，和你相处的时间少了，不要去生气他。
朋友是拿来分享的，你的朋友多了一个朋友，你应该为他高兴。
朋友不小心伤了你，你有资格生气，但是一定要原谅他，如果他道歉的话。

不要生气了，不要在怨恨了，虽然很受伤，但是一定要学会放下，原谅。
我很讨厌生气，我生气就会乱骂人，我生气的时候是不理智的，一伤就是伤了很多很重要的人。
我讨厌吵架，吵架就是两败俱伤。
我讨厌打冷战，打冷战我做什么东西就不能专心。

有些人觉得我背叛人，有些人觉得我是伪君子。
但是，我不想要成为这种人的，有什么事情好好说。
他们骂我，我就算了。
他们骂你，你也没必要里他们。
世界上有喜欢你也有讨厌你的人，你不能对他们生气，生气会伤肝，伤肝会短命。

你也一样。
什么事情都要好好说。
道歉又很难吗？
对不起很难说吗？
让一步很辛苦吗？他不接受？那你就再让一步，两步，三步啊！
让了很多步，那人不接受，那你还在意那个人做什么？忘了他吧！

不要再这样了，好不好，不要生气了，不要难过了。
你不爽谁谁谁，周围很多人也会难过的。
放下吧，忘记吧，原谅吧。

这世界已经有太多太多的悲伤，我不需要我周围的人继续增添悲伤。
我只想要你们幸福快乐。
你们不愿意听人劝，我也没办法了。
毕竟，我自己也有很多事情要做了，你自己不想听，我也不想理你了。
不是我不没尝试过，只是你根本不想要，你什么都不想要，那我也做不了什么。

好好想一想，可以吗？
我只是想要每个人快快乐乐而已。
祝大家幸福。

我很爱你们，很爱很爱。

就这样，两年过完了。
唯一舍不得东西，就是这里的朋友，以及在这里的种种回忆。
破烂的宿舍，其实好不到哪里去的学院，卫生有问题的Seksyen 18，两个月的考试，终于熬过去了。
只有这里的朋友，我想一起带走，但是，他们不是我的东西，他们也有想要前进的方向，所以，带走的只是对他们深深的回忆与感情。
在这里的朋友，以及不在这里的朋友，在这里我想对你们说：

要先说起的，就是我的室友们。
世界上应该找不到比他们更有耐心的人了，因为他们竟然和我一起住了两年。
忍我忍了两年，也真的是辛苦你们了，真的很谢谢你们。
我很爱你们，很爱很爱。

那些年，曾经一起做的sakai事情，可惜很多都没拍到，没关系，有回忆就好了，谢谢你们 (^o^)

接下来，就是我的同班同学们。

一起奋斗了两年，一起出街，拜访老师，庆祝生日。

虽然是不同种族，但是依然会一起疯疯癫癫，真的很感谢他们。

我很爱你们，很爱很爱。

我班的同学们，真的是一大群的好人，谢谢你们 ^ ^

接下来，就是Dhamma On Campus的人了，DOC就是类似我学院的佛学会那样，虽然不是正式的学会，但是会员们的感情都很好。

怎么说呢，就是家人不在身边时，他们就是家人的感觉。

每次庆祝成员的生日时，都会吵到被人警告，够疯狂了吧，哈哈。

我很爱你们，很爱很爱。

就是这一群人，很可爱很可爱的人，希望你们永远幸福。

来到这种不知身在何处，超级苦闷的地方，就会心痒痒想要出去玩。

这时候，就会有一班kaki，每次出去他们都会jio我，真的很开心。

他们带我去体验各种不同不同的东西，让个尝试了各种各样的第一次，总之有他们在，学院的生活，就是一种很刺激很精彩的冒险，真的很谢谢他们。

我很爱你们，很爱很爱。

真正要说的话，这些人真的是很疯狂，疯狂的人才是会享受人生的人，哈哈 XD

当然，这两年来，不只是和INTEC的朋友们一起过，偶尔会去马六甲，以前的老朋友们还是会一同相聚。

他们对来说真的很重要，因为中学的时候，是他们这帮人收留了我，和他们在一起的日子，虽然少了很多，但是我还没忘记他们的，虽然彼此之间有时候会不和，但是我们依然会和好，依然一起疯疯癫癫，很感谢他们这些年来对我的恩情。

我很爱你们，很爱很爱。

这群人，过了那么多年还是一样，哈哈，我喜欢 (^o^)

我想要感谢的就是其余剩下的朋友们，就是在这两年内，有和我联络的朋友们。

不管是INTEC的，中学的，小学的，工作的同时等等，能看到你们依然关心我，这得很谢谢你们。

有些人虽然很少联络了，但是偶尔在FB看到你们的message，或者节日是发来的一封信息，真的很令人感动，因为我有时会忘了你，但是你还没忘了我，真的很谢谢你们。

在INTEC的朋友们，真的很谢谢你们，在这里我就不上传太多照片了，因为对我好的人实在太多太多，如果没有上传到你的照片，真的很不好意思。

我的新旧朋友们，祝你们幸福，真的，因为你们都是很好很好的人。

我很爱你们，很爱很爱。

新朋友，旧朋友，都是朋友，爱还是一样爱的，嘻嘻。

最后，要感谢的就是我的家人。

有时候太久没回家了，就是很想念他们。听到他们的声音，就会有哭出来的感觉。

在外面生活了两年，虽然不算是漂泊，但也是在外面独立了，家人也习惯了我不在家的情况，但是，这两年内，我才明白他们是多么的重要。

在难过的时候，虽然没告诉他们发生了什么事，但是听到他们的声音，真的心情会变得很好，他们是我的心灵支柱，他们真的真的很重要。

我在这里就不上传他们的照片了，哈哈，因为很奇怪，不方便把他们的样子让给大家看，我们家里人都是这样的，嘻嘻。

就这样，两年了，就这样完了。

未来还会遇到很多很多的人，但是至少在短时间内，我不会忘记这些人，因为通过他们，我学到了很多东西，我也觉得自己成熟了不少，虽然口不遮拦的坏习惯没改变，但是，希望自己还能继续进步。

真的很舍不得他们。

有些人没好好道别，就可能一辈子就见不到了。

能相见是缘分，能分离也是缘分。

如果有缘分的话，我们会再见面的。

祝你们幸福，想要得到的东西，也会得到。

你们可能会问，这篇 post怎么没像平时那么emo？

我其实是很舍不得他们的，但是这种感情，收在心里就好，一直说的话，我怕会这份感情会淡掉。

不要难过，要珍惜。

我不知道什么是爱，爱有很多种。

我心里这个感情，我觉得应该也是爱的一种吧，虽然我也不是很清楚。

但是，我身边所有关心我以及我关心的人，谢谢你们，还有如果伤到你的话，对不起。

我希望你们都会很幸福很幸福。

最后，我只想再说一次，

It's my fault. Definitely. But I never mean to hurt. The only problem is, are you willing to trust me on this?

Just about to lose one of my most important things in college due to my ignorance and idiocy, luckily everything turns out to be alright, although things may not be the same anymore.

It's impossible to make everyone like us. I tried it and found out the hard way that this is impossible. Should've known better.

People are gossiping behind my back. I don't mind. 93% of people gossip, and 90% of these gossips involve other people. It's almost second nature to people. I gossip as well. But unfortunately I was given the lesson on my life. 90% of people gossip, so what? It's not an excuse for me.

To people who tried to put me down, ha, I don't know who you are, but I don't care. I don't care if u do anything to me, but try not to get my friends involved. Leave them alone.

Last 3 papers, final 6 days, and I am leaving this place, full of happy memories, as well as not-so-happy bits of disappointments and let-downs.
Well, I might not be the greatest roommate/flatmate/classmate/friend/acquaintance/student, I have tried my best.

U may think that I am two-faced and a hypocrite, u may be right, but there is more to me than these. What u see is just the surface. All the things u said and do to me, although I don;t know you, I am watching.
I am just watching how much prejudice and skepticism and hate u can put on me before finally discovering u are the real hypocrite all along.
I am just watching the things u can do to hurt people. Just u look.
I do things, good things, that u did not see. And I did not trumpet all these things because I am not YOU, who don't even have a good enough HEART to trust me A LIL BIT.
You know only a few sides of me and u spoke as if u knew me, ha!
Sorry for this bit though, I get annoyed when people judge me based on shallow observations.

The fact is I never show up my complete true self to anyone. Everyone of you only see a different part of myself. To some, I am a great person. To others, I am just another jerk.

I don't blame you all. I always show both of my good and bad sides of people. If u like me, means u believe the best in me.
If u dislike me, well, maybe I wasn't showing enough of my good side. Or the problem is you yourself, who can't trust me enough. Ah well, I can't please everyone.

I try to be my best to everyone, but I can't make everyone happy. The fact that I stupidly even TRY to make EVERYONE happy just proves my naivety.

Yeah, I have 2 sides. I am two-faced. The good and the bad. The angel and the demon. So are you.

Believe it or not, I believe in the best in everyone. Even if I got hurt, I assume that it's my fault. I can't get angry anymore. The last time I got angry was like 8 or 9 months ago. I used to get angry often. But now I can't. I can only feel hurt and disappointment, not anger.
Where have my temper gone to?

I am very sorry.
To you, to this particular person, the newest victim of me and my bad mouth. I am sorry.
To all my friends, I admit that I have gossiped about all of you. But mind you, all of us gossip, just admit it. But never did I have the intention to hurt in any way in my gossips. I just thought even if you caught wind to my gossips, you all can take the joke. But I was wrong. How wrong I was.

I am very sorry. I'll try to quit gossiping altogether and become the 7% who don't gossip.

And whatever things I have done that hurt anyone of you, I sincerely apologise as well. I never had any intention to hurt anyone, because I was hurt many times, some intentionally by people I trust.
And they hurt. They really hurt. That's why I try not to hurt anyone.

But if you still got hurt, then I am very sorry. I would try my best to compensate if you wish.

3 last papers, and so many things have to happen at this hurdle. If this is a test of faith, it's a goddamn hard test. All the best to my peeps, who are fighting hard for the last 3 papers as well.

I really mean well. I prayed for all of us to fly. Some just don't want to believe me. They won't even try to believe in their ability to believe.

I don't know the people who dislike me, but I know they exist. Because I kept getting hurt from them. I just don't know who they are. I don't want to know either. I have not hated anyone for a long time. I don't want to hate again.

I know the people who like me. Thank you :)

All the best to everyone, friends and enemy alike. I just wish that my world can be a better place with each passing second. Apparently this is hard to come by. Well, I can only hope. Because the thing that only thing that preventing me from going mad is...

生日快乐

6月13日，是你的生日，也是另外一个人的生日。
现在我们过生日，都是很多人一起庆祝的，但是，只有你的没有。
我常说，我很孤独，但是，现在我不孤独了，我的室友，我的朋友，我的同学等等，我很喜欢这些人。
但是，每次见到你，就是那么孤独。
你孤独了吗？

6月13日，是你的生日。
有些人说，你的性格有点奇怪。
但是，我觉得还好。
毕竟这世界上，我们不可能取悦每一个人。
人不是完美的，所以，有些人会喜欢你，有些人会讨厌你。有些人会喜欢你后讨厌你，有些人会讨厌你后喜欢你。
人就是这样善变的。
有些人不是很喜欢你。
但是，我觉得你真的很不错。
有人说你什么什么，我也知道你什么什么，但是，我看人，我尽量看优点，这样对人比较公平。
我觉得你很多优点，又有很多很有趣的地方，所以我觉得你很不错。

6月13日，我不知道这一天是你的生日。
说实话，我有点惭愧。
我声称是你的朋友，但是连生日也记不得了，真的很对不起。
今天听人说，你一个人过生日了，很多人都忘记了吗？很多人都不知道吗？
对不起，我真的不知道。
一个人的滋味很不好受，生日也一个人的话，那真的是难受死了。
没礼物，没蛋糕，真的很对不起。
下次，我会尽力去记得的，一定会，你的生日。

6月13日，考的是物理。
你很紧张，考试前一直问我问题，还留了满身的大汗。
我当时觉得你很好笑。
但是，我现在觉得我自己真的很不好，我常说要将心比心去想，但是我没对你这样做。
你的问题我回答了，但是我没有很认真回答。
现在，我能明白你的感受。
你在生日时都要受这样的苦，真的很对不起。

我不是很有用的人，我知道，我想进步，但是周围的人不是在我背后说我坏话，就是不敢跟我说我哪里不好。
结果，我想改，可是我不懂要改什么，因为我不知道我错了什么。
可是，6月13号，我知道我的一个不好之处了。
我对待朋友，就只是选择性的真诚。
我很喜欢的人，就对他很好。
比较普通的朋友，就对他普普通通。
没那么熟，或没那么喜欢的人，我对他敷衍。
虽然说无可否认的，差不多每个人在不自觉中都会这样做，但我觉得这样对你很不好。
一个人独自奋斗很辛苦。
对不起，我会对你好一点。
虽然有点太迟了，真的很对不起。

6月13号，我发现原来你也有这样的一面。
就是这样，不是别人说的那些不好的东西，而是那些很好的东西。
你有缺点，但是世上谁没有缺点？
如果因为那几个缺点而忽略掉你所有的优点，那就很可惜了。
不是说你的朋友都不好，只是他们很多都不知道该怎么和你相处。
你的朋友们其实都是很善良的，只是他们不懂要怎么和你说话。
慢慢来，我相信终有一天，你会得到你值得拥有的幸福。
当然，你也要把缺点都改了，哈哈。
因为这世上，缺点比较容易被人看见，看见了就会吵架，伤害，受伤，难过。
没关系的，终有一天，一定会有人能因为你是你，而跟你相处得很好的。

对不起，我下次会对你好一点。
是我的错。
如果你看到这篇文章，请不要不屑，因为我是认真的。
对不起。

还有，虽然现在已经是6月14号了，但是我还是要说一声。

生日快乐，祝你永远幸福。